night off
by bennettthomas
Summary: a silly fic combinin Jean Paul Valley with Roy Harper and add alcohol, let the good times roll.


Night Off

non of these guys belong to me I'm just bored so I played there might be a second chapter if a muse comes to me but as I was saying they don't belong to me they belong to DC so enjoy.

"**I want to watch 'The Crow'**"

"Dick might pop around"

"**No he wont he doesn't like us"**

"He doesn't like you"

"**I am you, you are nothing without me**"

"I am a person without you"

"**Ok, enough of this foolishness what should we watch"**

"Dogma?"

"**Vile, villainous film making a mockery of the fine religion that made us, Blasphemers, God in a TUTU"**

"Ok ok, what do you suggest?"

"**Robocop, that is how we should deal with the scum of this vile city"**

"How about Monty Python and the Holy Grail?"

"**More Blasphemers, Highlander? Ahh how I miss my flaming sword"**

"I don't want you going all misty eyed on me"

**Grunt**

"Escape from L.A., good bit of action we can both enjoy that"

"**A pitiful excuse of a remake of a classic, Equilibrium? That Christian Bale plays a good super hero"**

"He's not a super hero he is an actor, though he could play a young Bruce"

"**He would play me better!"**

"Bruce"

"**Me"**

"Whatever, how about Tremors?"

"**NO, Kevin Bacon was rubbish in Footloose!"**

"You watched Footloose?"

"**I was lonely in the Cave, never mind that how about Predator?"**

"I never liked the Predator"

"**He was a good warrior"**

"He was the villain!"

"**He still had honour"**

"Again villain! Would you watch it if Bruce was here?"

**Grunt**

"Just what I thought! We need to agree on something that has honour and not to violent! Any thoughts?"

"**Hmmm let's go and get some pop corn while we think about this"**

"Ok first sensible thing you've said all night"

"**Careful or I will delete the Sims again!"**

"Ok ok ok. By the way what flavour?"

"**Salted"**

"Sweet"

"**Salted"**

"Sweet"

……….

By the time that Jean Paul got to the local shop he had decided of a way of solving this deadlock…….. Paper, Scissors, Stone!

After 25 draws they decide to get peanuts!!

With all of this finally sorted he went to pay for his peanuts.

"Just my luck a female behind the counter"

"**Female, female, ehh I'm turning in for the night!"**

"Az? Az?"

"**I've got some filing to do good night!"**

"Fat lot of use the avenging angel is when push comes to shove but I can cope, I hope!"

'H-h-hi, j-j-justtttt t-t-these nuts p-p-please"

'$2.50 please'

'Here you g-g-go'

'Have a nice night'

'T-t-thanks'

Roy Harper was in Gotham to visit Dick Grayson, but with Dick and Barbara in that happy state that married couples get to occasionally, normally just after the wedding Roy just didn't feel like being round them much, so went off for a walk but feeling peckish popped into a local store.

Upon seeing the above sight and recognising Jean-Paul as a member of the Bat-clan decided that he could have some fun with him, and maybe make him a bit more confident around members of the fairer sex, which was after all what he was famous for. Grinning he tapped Jean-Paul on the shoulder,

'Hey man, aren't you Jean-Paul, well I'm Roy friend of Dicks and as I see you are in need of some guidance that only Dr Love can provide'

'Who's Dr Love?'

'Me that's who, so how do you feel like going out on the town with me and I can show you how to act around women and in return you're paying. Sound good?'

'Yeah sure, I guess'

'Good well you'll love it trust me no one misses a chance to go on a night out with me'

Jean Paul was not the most sociable person but found it very difficult to say no to people like Roy, so smiling slightly he asked. 'So what time do we start?'

'Well no time like the present I always say I know some great bars around here then from there we can go to a club or two and then if you're lucky maybe I'll show you a little strip joint I know of.'

With Azrael finally shut up thanks to the female shop assistant Jean had no arguments in his head so went along willingly. The first of many mistakes he made that night apart from not running the moment he saw that look on Roy's face that said party on your tab.

In the first bar that they got to a quiet little place Roy claimed turned out to be the iceberg! Standing outside this dive Jean prayed that Az would keep his stupid mouth shut and stay hidden like any good angel should.

'Come on JP lets start here looks good I'll have a Jack on the rocks with two tequila chasers please trust me and have the same you'll love it loosen you up just right.'

'Sure coming right up'

Thankfully Jean's luck was holding and none of the icebergs usual denizens where in residence at this point in time. So when returning with the drinks Roy began his lessons on chatting up on the poor unfortunate computer geek.

'The first thing you need to know about flirting or picking up a girl is the fact that the hardest part of it is starting the conversation. Luckily you have the whole tall muscled blonde hair blue eyes thing that girls go for, I have no idea why they do but trust me they do.'

'Ok'

'Next, once you have their attention you need to be charming, swarve, debonair just like me, well maybe not quite like me we can deal with the advanced lessons some other night. But it's normally a good idea not to stutter when you're talking to them but that comes with confidence, and confidence comes with alcohol, so drink up!'

'Ok'

'Oh yeah when you are talking to them its best not to look at their breasts, I find that if you chant a mantra it helps I use "Nod smile don't look at boobies"'

'I'll try that, do you want another drink?'

'I thought you weren't going to ask then, and same again please?'

Jean was not used to drinking so after these first couple of drinks he was feeling a bit light headed as he shuffled over to the bar to ask the bar tender for this next round of drinks. Not looking where he was going he bumped into a tall woman with red hair and green skin, trying to put these two facts together in his mind he did the only thing that a slightly drunk computer nerd would think of, ergo he stuttered while offering to get her a drink to apologise while staring at her obvious cleavage.

Hanging his head in his hands Roy wondered what else could go wrong and how Bruce would kill him.


End file.
